this makes me feel inside (and stuff like that)

one reason why i love the mckay family... they show me great things like this.

when things work out

I am thankful when you have a long long list and it seems impossible to finish...but then going about your day... everything finds its place and works out. Just the way Heavenly Father knew it would.

what to do...default=wedding reminiscing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn1leHfBY6M&feature=em-share_video_user
sometimes... i can watch this over and over....and over.
love him.
life is sooo happy

married. life is better this way

As a married woman of almost a month now... WOW yes that is one month. I would just like to testify of my love for married life.
Who wouldn't want to be with their best friend always and have sleepovers every night.
Who wouldn't want to be able to kiss their lover whenever.
Who wouldn't want to laugh all the time.
Who wouldn't want to be super poor... (probably lots.) BUT even though your poor you get to bask in the daily blessings you have together.
Who wouldn't want to feel the spirit everytime your husband grabs your hand to say a blessing on the food or a goodnight prayer.
Who wouldn't want to cook food for a boy who isn't picky and likes it no matter what.
Who wouldn't want someone to be there to hold you when your day was long.
Who wouldn't want someone to bring you a cool class of water in the middle of the night.

Basically I am really happy and I could go on for longer. I am the happiest I have ever been my entire life and feel like I am progressing more than ever. I feel so blessed to be sealed to my Sam forever.

lots of love

i don't even know where to begin because there are so many thoughts running through my mind. 

i do know that i love sam. i love him so much more everyday, which who knew was even possible.

i feel so grateful for my family and friends. they have done so much to help me feel loved and plan everything for the wedding. 

i feel so much closer to my heavenly father after going through the temple. it was such a special experience that i can hardly express. and it just makes me that much more excited for the day i get sealed to sam. 

i just love my sammy. and soon he will be mine always and forever. 

twenttttaaaay.

wooooo i am totally no longer a teenager. ha i now feel worthy to date sam mckay. ha jk but so far twenty has been good to me. i haven't exercised as much as i should but...baby steps.
my birthday was ammmmaaaazing. i felt so loved and blessed. started out great just with my parents and sisters and yummy crepes for breakfast. then headed over to my grandma's for some old time film. sam..my love, came and we all watched the quiet man with john wayne. super good. favorite quote from the movie was "wooooman of the house" ha watch it. next we had pizza and all just chatted with my grandma. she is the biggest sweetheart and pretty sassy too. sam and i then left to go on a ride. we stopped by his house to pick up our gear and his mom spoiled me. i love jenn mckay. let it be known. she is such a sweetheart. we left on our ride, and i loved it. i loved just being with sam. it was laid back but only kinda. we ran the horses all over huntsville, and sam said i was super good at it. so point me. we had a picnic and just talked and talked. i loooooved it all. we saw cows, and ran the horses some more. that is why my bum is sore. along with taking me on this magical ride, sam wrote me the sweetest note. i can't even express how much i love that man. he is truly one of a kind and i am so glad i get to call him mine. it was the perfect birthday. and the perfect way to celebrate two decades.
sam asked me what i wanted to accomplish in the next two decades of my life. and it really made me think. i know for sure i want to be a mom and have a family with sam. i want us to have a home. and be happy. i don't know what i am going to graduate with in school or what career skills i will develop but i know i will be with sam and as long as we keep the lord in the center of our plans, we are going to find a way to be eternally happy in everything we do. and i can't wait for that. not ready to be forty but excited to be forever with sam.

love being engaged but wanna be married.

when you engaged... cause basically i am pro at it now... (ehhh) all you ever want to do is spend time with the one you love. because that makes you so happy. every time you're together...it's almost always said "can we please just be married?" you get sick and tired of saying goodbye, and basically just living until the next time you can see them again.
also when you are engaged. i feel like you go through this constant rollercoaster of not being good enough, or fearing that you will disappoint the other. while you may know the weaknesses of the one you love, you only see the best. you want to live up to everything you think you should be for that person. it's hard. because you have no idea what it is like to be married, your just guessing and trying to make sure you are perfect. i wish i knew what stuff wouldn't matter in the end, so i wouldn't stress over it now. that's another reason i just wanna be married.
sam makes me feel incredible. he makes me want to be better than i ever could on my own. i love him with my whole heart, and while i love being engaged to him, cause we get to dream about a life together. i wanna be married.  i wanna live my dreams.

favorites right now

favorite tv show: modern family. ohhhh it is the best.

favorite food: that's hard... healthy stuff, thats usually what i'm craving.

favorite color: light pink...like blush pink.

favorite family: all of them

favorite boy: sam. duh.....

favorite time: when i have sam all to myself.

favorite feeling: being loved by sam and confident in myself.

favorite outfit: my birthday suit.. cause i'm tired of my clothes.

favorite day: soon to be august 20th.

favorite scripture: moroni 7:45-47

favorite exercise: abs and arm ones...with my cool exercise ball.

favorite gum: shawn white (ginger soul gum)

i have a lot of favorites, and the more i have of them... the happier and less stressed my life is.

making goals

half way through the year... haha making some new goals.

1. save and become a wiser spender.

2. stick to a budget.

3. read more...just for fun.

4. establish a exercise schedule...and keep it up.

5. be more crafty.

6. serve more. 

7. this list is getting really long.

mainly i've just decided that i need to work on things that will only make me a better and a more well-rounded person. i'm trying to be more open with my feelings and more confident in myself. so i am taking the first step and writing/typing it all down. 

go.

like one

i think anyone who is engaged or married can agree with me when I say that when you aren't with the one you love, your life just doesn't seem complete. But as soon as i am with sam again, my life just gains a certain warmth and wholeness. i also feel the same way about the gospel. when i neglect my daily scripture study, forget to pray or just am not choosing the right my life seems incomplete and off. Returning to the scriptures and striving to live right brings the same happiness i get when i am with sam. and...soon i'll get to have that forever.

In awe...

I am constantly in awe of everything I have been blessed with, and I often feel undeserving of it all. This past weekend I was able to spend I'm California with Sam's family. I love them so much. They are the most hilarious, kind and generous group of people I know. They love to laugh and just be with one another. I got to eat the best food this weekend...my favorite was probably the short rib...it melted in my mouth. I also got to participate in a flash mob. Yeah...a FLASH MOB. it was unreal and such a rush. I love it. I also got to go to an amazing dinner overlooking the beach. The mashed potatoes were also amazing... I visited the LA temple and then went to the reception and party of my life. Everyone ended it by dancing all night till they couldn't feel their feet. Gahhhhhh it was amazing. And the best part was I got to be with Sam for all of it. He held my hand. Told me...or laughed at me when I didn't say things quiet enough. He was my partner for it all. And everytime I was nervous...I looked at Sam and was fine. I live him and the joy he brings to my life. I couldn't ask for anyone more perfect for me.

this little thing i call love. love to sam mckay.

sooo. the whole marriage deal had been in the works for a while. we set the date august 20th and then decided to look for a ring. a little backwards...but we are the best and the cutest and so it's fine.
okay let me just back up and say how much i love sam mckay. he is the greatest thing that has ever happend to me. sam is the perfect gentleman. he always opens my door, buys my dinner, and walks me home safely. sam is also everyone's best friend. as soon as you meet him he will try and get to know everything about you. he sincerely cares about everyone around him. sam is also hilarious and has introduced me to greatness like...the community. check it out. we watch modern family together. i love that. sam is also an honorable priesthood holder. i have never asked anyone but my dad for a blessing, but i knew i could ask sam. and so did my roommates. he is there spiritually for everyone. and he is always doing things for others expecting nothing in return. sam is the hardest worker i know. and has the philosophy that one should always do their best and do the job right the first time. he has taught me so much and makes me want to be my best self everyday. i could go on but i'll focus on the engagement.
everyone in our wards knew we were engaged we were just waiting on a ring. sam had talked with my parents about marrying me and then we set out to find a ring. final store we went to the lady was a little crazy "yours, ours, the stone." sam found the perfect ring, we got it sized and then...i knew he was going to propose soon but... sam didn't waste anytime.
sunday sam came to my house for family dinner. it was the best, he learned i was a very chunky baby and is okay that our babies will also be fat.
monday...didn't see sam cause he had "sooo much work to do." he lied but has been forgiven. he made plans with me to see me tuesday, i was going to drive up and we'd get dinner and just spend time together.

tuesday... tuesday. the first of may, i drove to sam mckay's house. i pulled up and his brother will ran up and hugged me and then his brother daniel. his dad came out and then sam did. he said we had to go up and move some things around at his grandpa's place. the land. as we left his dad was like "you can stay here with us if you like." i'm really glad i didn't. as we were driving sam remembered he had to check on rosie his brother elijah's horse. so we went there. all the hay was fine.. so we sat and filled up his water trough. apparently sam was patting his pocket the whole time.. i didn't notice. we finally were heading up to huntsville and sam called his brother isaac. isaac and his girlfriend bailey were on a "date" up at the land, and sam was just checking on them and checkin on the work he had up there. all was still good. we got closer and he called again. i was wondering why he was so paranoid about it but wasn't stressin. we pulled up to the land and passed isaac and bailey coming out. sam and i pulled up to the house parked and as we are walking up to the door, sam muffles my face into his armpit. this is normal behavior so i wasn't really suspicious yet. when we got to the door he kissed me and told me he loved me...he was shaking and i was like...oh my gosh. he opened the door and a table was set up for a candle light dinner. i'm just like oh my gosh sam... we walked to the table and he told me i needed to sit down. as i did we just held each other as he told me how he loves me and how i have helped him become a better person and find direction that was missing in his life. it was the sweetest thing. he told me i was the most amazing woman he had ever met and he wanted me in his life forever. he then got on one knee and asked me to marry him. i was crying and said yes. then hugged him and said yes yes yes yes yessss. he put the ring on my finger, still slightly shaking and we hugged and kissed. smiled and said i love you. he asked me if i was hungry and ready for dinner and i was just like... um not really any more. so we just talked for a while. took pictures. finally sam said he was hungry so we ate our beautiful dinner and talked about life together. i was perfect. we called sam's grandparents while we were there and his grandpa was like sam are you in ecstasy? hahah yes, we both were. sam means the world to me and i loved that right before dinner he reminded me we needed to bless the food. he puts god first. i love sam mckay and consider him to be the biggest blessing i have in this life. he's my forerrrr and errr. soooo yeah we are engaged to be married!

you make me feel calm

when life is crashing down, or seems like it at least. okay it wasn't even close to crashing down... but i love having Sam be the constant in my life that keeps me calm and reassures me. we went riding yesterday...it seems like everytime we ride, magical things happen and life just keeps on getting better and better. i love those days we ride.

hello goodbye

Technically in my situation....its goodbye hello. here is why.
Tomorrow...I say goodbye to my Baby Kori. Then... within 24 hours... I get my eliza kaye home from London. Crazy pants. I don't want Baby Kori to leave. stupid Idaho. But we will see each other shortly. ;)
Here is a little about my Baby.
She became Baby Kori.... just cause.. She is the sweetest thing you will ever meet. She is so cute and sometimes is like a baby in the way she laughs when you tickle underneath her chin, and the way she sleeps. However, Baby Kori is also very much like a mama. ;) She can cook like anyone's grandma, and she makes my cooking 20x better by telling me what I need to do to make it better.
We have late night talks... sometimes where I am sleep talking.... We make shadow puppets. We buy cool things... ;) We both plug our nose when we swim under water. We both... always say we are going to clean are room and apologize for it being dirty.. but we never clean it consistently. We both clean and do the dishes lots. We both like shopping... lots.  She is super good at taking pictures.
Baby Kori is a southern belle. I want her curly hair, and her shoes... I don't want her to leave.
We are going to be storm chasers. She will report the storms as a news caster person.. I will drive the car.
Baby Kori is the best listener, and gives me advice on my crazy life. She encourages me and helps me be my best self. She has really become one of my closest and best friends.
Anyway. I'm going to miss her lots. I love her.

finals

F: freakin nuts...
I: intimidating amounts of studying
N: never ending, no where to begin.
A: always something else to do...that's not studying.
L: last minute cramming.
S: soo...I should probably get started now.

gross. i want to just spend time with people. that's more important in the long run right? okay god. I understand... I will spend time with them after these wicked tests that somehow are a measure of the amount of knowledge I have acquired this semester.

Gooooo Kollege.
 

i wrote this a while ago...

I wrote this on a sticky note a while ago..like last semester. 

Funny how...this is exactly what I have now. 

God loves us.

Giddy boy.

I want one.

I want one to smile thinking of me.

Want one to laugh.

A kiss.

Someone to talk to.

Someone who will ask.

A giddy boy.

cause i need to count my blessings.

i am grateful for the gospel.
i am grateful for a living and loving Savior.
i am grateful for my parents.
i am grateful for my siblings.
i am grateful for my nephew.
i am grateful for my friends.
i am grateful for Sam.
i am grateful for my laptop.
i am grateful for my clothes.
i am grateful for modern family.
i am grateful for my bed.
i am grateful for kyle, my car.
i am grateful to be alive.
i am grateful for food.
i am grateful for the scriptures.
i am grateful for prayer.
i am grateful for patriarchal blessings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qmMaPTuTEE
i am grateful for bing crosby.

afro love

I love myself a good afro. Especially when it is side swept. I LOVE AFROS. Happy Black History Month.

this one thing i do.

This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

[Philippians 3:13–14]

Two winning talks. Remember Lot's Wife. and You Know Enough. 

They have blessed my life. Remembering Lot's Wife helps me think of all that I have before me and how much potential there is within me. You Know Enough teaches me, when I am scared and feel like I can't reach high enough, it's okay cause I am reaching and then Christ is lifting me higher. 

is this real life?

Even through all the stresses of school, work, and applying for dietetics.
Life feels like a dream.
It's magical, and it just keeps getting better.
I feel blessed and loved.
I am so grateful for the life I have.
I rode a horse yesterday, and I felt like I was 12 again.

a room8

I have a room8.

we are one of a kind.

she talks to me.

I listen to her.

we are cookers.

we like Madagascar 2.

we like to dance. 

she sleeps on the bottom.

 God rest her soul. 

she is smart.

we are funny.

she is going to london.

I am on my own for 4 months.

ummm she is gorgeous.

we sympathized with one another.

my dad says we are "soul sisters"

She turns 20 tomorrow. 

I got her something good for her birthday.

I'm going to miss her.

I love my room companion. 

Dude, she is so sick.